When Honesty May not Be Enough

I watched CNN Blacks in America the other night and grew shockingly alarmed. The percentage of single successful black women was high-excuse me; EXTREMELY HIGH. We all know why and it doesn't need to be stressed here-brothers just aren’t as successful. More in prisons then universities. Well the point I'm trying to get is that there are a few good brothers.

I have been called boastful, arrogant and many other things that constitute the same meaning but one thing no one has ever done is truly called me a liar. I am a fucking good nigga. I know what I have and when I have it, I don't make dumb ass mistakes with women's hearts and I don't play games. I pride myself in my true honest character. I love whom I am with and everything that we have grown to be. Most niggas look at the above statistic and use that to their advantage; they know that if they gain a little success they become a hot commodity and try to rotate between women. I now or never will ever again need to date because I know that I have truly found the mother of my children. So with this in mind I know that I am a part of the few good men category.

Now, I can recall a specific conversation I once had with my father. A man who has consistently cheated on my mother, hell left us when I was a new born child. I know the pain of a woman and that a man can bring. I know the responsibilities one has when they possess the heart of the opposite sex. I have done nothing but respect every woman I have come across. I also have three little sisters- one whose adolescence and two whom are just little girls. Everything I do I do with them in mind- if I were to dog a female I know how KARMA operates. Anyway I'm getting off topic and my frustration is causing my hands to shake tremendously. I asked my father if a guy and a girl could be friends and nothing more- one day. Maybe not in those exact words. He replied no-my own father, unknowingly contributing to the thought process of so many fucked up niggas, who think every time you meet someone of the opposite sex it is to FUCK. Well the original content (well purpose) of this post was to speak on my specific situation.

Here goes. I have a best friend- she was once my girlfriend. We met and instantly kicked off a friendship-pure untainted friendship. This friendship was to rare and to complex for others to understand, her friends and my friends, so the coerced us to date. Niggas would say yo you hitting that? Girls would ask her why we weren't dating. Very like my father's thought process and the world people could not understand the meaning of a pure relationship. For a long time I didn't even find this particular girl attractive. Neither one of us wanted to start dating. We would go out and I'd talk to other females in her presence and vice versa. It was a true friendship.

However outside influences infiltrated, and we became girlfriend and boyfriend. Nothing changed, nothing. We were still As**** and An*****. You know, "those two." Our first kiss was a few weeks into the relationship. Sex wasn't a primary concern, actually the very first time it happened it was an accident, completely random. Fighting turned into tickling, which ensued. A few weeks later we realized we just not be a couple neither one of us were comfortable with the situation, it felt as though we were forcing ourselves to be what others wanted us to be, we were completely out of our pure characteristic.

So thank you fucked up niggas who fuck women over and believe every relationship with the opposite sex they have to dive in dick first. Thank you fucked up women who believe EVERY nigga is the same. You truly have made my life a living hell. Assholes. It seems impossible to meet a girl today who hasn't had some nigga come in their life and not fuck it up. Niggas lie and cheat and brag to they niggas like it’s a fucking awards. I can't believe none of you motherfuckers, every girl is somebody's daughter, somebody's sister, niece, granddaughter and most importantly SOON TO BE MOTHER. Imagine if all niggas treated they girl like they wanted another man to treat their mother. This world would be such a different place. Lives would be different.

I say all that to say this. I am not the norm, I come from a different cloth, and I am truly the last of a dying breed. I love one girl and one girl only, her shit is that tight Niggas, and ladies I am that weak. I now or never will need to ever backtrack into any circumstantial situation I have been in. Having my best friend visit me this weekend is as if my nigga G or Boss or Cincinnati Matty or Dre or any of them niggas visited me. We would sleep two different locations, I'd show them the night life (after I got off work) and we'd talk about my girl with whom I brag about a good 70% of our conversations. JUST AS WE DO NOW THAT MY BESTFRIEND IS HERE. There is no difference. Only difference is she has a vagina and these niggas got balls.

Sex does complicate things, that I am aware. However for us it was more of an epiphany. We came to realize that we don't have to conform to people's fucked up ideals about the male female interaction. Sex with my once girlfriend did nothing but serve as a light, it was uncomfortable-not to gross out but it felt like I was with my cousin. Just did not feel right. Regardless, the outside looking in may never understand- but point is I love C***** and no one no body and no situation no matter what the circumstance can do anything to jeopardize MY relationship. You tell them I said that. FUCK EVERYBODY else..



P.SPardon my French.